Way, a LAN, snow, a dining cabinet, and speed shopping

Life with SWMBO is never dull.

I’ve been toying with buying a notebook computer for a few weeks now. I could use it on my twice-a-day 40 minute train trip to do work stuff, learn new modelling and CAD programmes I am behind on, plus the odd movie and music. I’ve read through nearly all of the novels in the house so I'm bored.

This is how things are developing…

Two weeks ago I drove with a mate up to Brisbane from Sydney for queensLANder; a TOG LAN party where we got together with 60 players for a great weekend playing computer games and catch-up. I started organising it over four months ago. It was a fantastic success due mostly to great volunteers and TOGgers themselves. Anyway, SWMBO was giving me my week's spending plus extra to go away. She had $200.00 in her hand and asked, "How much did you spend on petrol?" We'd recently changed our banking policies to avoid horrendous VISA bills. She now withdraws cash for the week. I get $25 spending, plus $32 train fare, and about $20 for petrol each week. Somehow this always appears as a single $50 note.
Hey! She's a lawyer, not an accountant.
I argued $25 was less than the $40 I used to get but she countered that "the bloody internet" cost about $15 per week and that came out of my "spending".
"But you buy all those vitamins, herbs, and that Rhodesian swamp water stuff! PLUS you go to the Gym and then there's all that Nutrimetics you buy"
"I need the vitamins & herbs to help me, and it's not swamp water; it's medicine that stops PMS each month. You don’t want a return of that, do you?" The horrors of a mad woman going through her cycle each month was worth $100 bottles of swamp water. "And the Nutrimetics keeps my skin wrinkle free and beautiful; you want me to look lovely, don’t you?"

One of the big errors in my life was to marry a lawyer. I've rarely won an argument since. Marrying SWMBO was wonderful; it’s just the Lawyer bit.

"Well, that's still a whole lot of extra stuff you get that I don't".

Bad move.
I can play a fair game of chess but I'm out of my depth with SWMBO.

She takes her usual "hand on hips" victory stance.
"Well, if you want to spend some money on gym fees I suppose we can find it; you do want to go to the Gym, don't you?"
Busted.
Cornered.
If my eyes were beady they'd be darting back and forth looking for a way out of the room as quickly as possible, but no, they had to be content with the wild-eyed-look-of-fear instead.

"Well, no, but I still get less than you, and the internet is mainstream now... like the telephone, electricity, water. Why should I have to pay for a utility when all those others come out of general revenue?"
I had her with logic. She's not strong in it, which I can't determine if it's purposeful or not. I am suspicious she uses false logic to advantage.

Either way, as financial director, she still has the purse strings.

The conversation ended, and two weeks later I'm still only getting the $50 note that’s magically worth $77.00.

Anyway, I tell her I had to fill the car up and it cost $60. She whips the $60 from the $200 and hands me the change. Sigh. A weekend away on $140.00.
Naturally, once safe in Queensland, nearly a 1000 kilometres away, I withdrew another $100 from an ATM. Actually, Demon_Keeler withdrew it for me.

It took a while after queensLANder, and the long drive home, and a busy week at work catching up on the two days I had off; before it dawned on me that SWMBO and our children were going away for a weekend in the snow. Hmmm… I could use that to help broach the subject of a notebook. They returned late Sunday night. After the luggage had settled I asked, “How much did the scout skiing weekend cost?” She was a bit cagey with the answer trying to add up this and that and making comments like “It was good value since we got two breakfasts, two lunches…” etc.
Ha! I had her justifying the “cheap” weekend away with the scouts. Turns out it was about $1050.00 plus “shopping, takeaway and some ‘other things’” Total somewhere around $1300.00.”
I’m working on the thought this is a good softener for my next big idea, but it can wait until Monday night. I don’t want to be too obvious.

Monday night, “I’ve been thinking of buying a notebook to use for work.”

Things got a little out of hand after that. Not by the words spoken but those which weren’t. It was a very short discussion mostly from me justifying the purchase. Surely she’d see the “fairness” on the basis she spent nearly as much on the weekend. I made no mention of the conversation the night before…

I needn’t.
She did.
Who was I trying to fool?
It ended with “You asked about the ski trip just so you could argue for a notebook.”
Dang.
I wasn’t going to give up so easily, it’d just take time, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting an agreement on Monday night anyway, just enough to seed the idea and wear her down with persistence.

But then I am dealing with a woman, a wife, a lawyer and above all an expect shopper.

We’ve been married eighteen years. You’d think I’d learn?

SWMBO was given a bonus in July for all of the long hours spent covering poor staffing levels. Our wages have always been consolidated so there’s no argument about petty things like bills and expenses or in-equities. The idea behind it is what’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine. And to our credit we’ve never had a word about who contributes more or less. And it’s not happening now. Either way, the proceeds from mum’s estate will arrive soon to add to the coffers in a small way, but one thing I want to do for myself with the inheritance is get this notebook. Still, under the rules of consolidated revenue administered by the financial director this purchase needs both our signatures.

Tuesday morning I find myself at home with The Daughter who’s redecorated the bathroom with the recently internal contents of a 13yo child’s stomach. It’s my turn to stay home and anyway SWMBO has already left for The Son’s athletics carnival.
At about 4pm SWMBO returned home all excited. She’d dropped The Son off at a schoolmate’s house and made a field trip to the local furniture shop. For 13 years she’s been trying to get me to build a dining room cabinet. Now, today, she decides to visit a store. She drags me up to the place and points out a hideous stained-pine glass cabinet. It’s unsuitable to hold dinning room stuff; it’s for glassware, figurines etc.

• It’s made from pine. Like I am going to allow THAT into my home.
• It too narrow.
• It’s ugly.
• It’s about $800.00, Pfft on special it’s too much already!

There's the false logic at work again.

At the time I didn’t know it but now it all comes to light. The shop makes to order as well. After an hour she’s signing an contract for a custom made dining cabinet in Tasmanian Oak. $1730.00.

Wednesday.
24hrs.
It took me nearly a whole day to realise I’d been hoodwinked. Here I am hinting at the cost of the ski trip to help my argument for a notebook thinking I am cunning by playing it slow and calm.

I look so amateurish compared to SWMBO.

When will I learn I am playing with the best of them?

Over night she’d gone from hearing me suggest a notebook to her planning a counter-spend. She’s spent the last of the bonus. She’s beat me to the post. She’s signed the deal and sealed the fate of the notebook in less than 18 hours from Monday night to Tuesday afternoon.

God she’s good.

Thursday. I can't take this lying down so I placed my order for a Dell notebook at the cost of $1675.00.

So, laugh if you like, 18hrs for her to get the gumption up, and 48hrs for me. I figure the inheritance will be though before the credit card bill attracts interest. And there are all sorts of justifications such as value for money, sale ending today, tax deductions under my small business, and GST rebate etc. I even placed it on my personal Visa card so she won’t see it so soon.

It’s all figured out.

Except the part about how I explain the purchase to She Who Must Be Obeyed.